Happy MSaversary to me!

I have to say when I was first diagnosed I promised myself that MS would never define me…but after having it for 3 years I have come to terms with the fact that MS has not only defined me, it has completely, 100% made me who I am. At the risk of sounding all poetic, allow to entertain this thought…

Today in my spinning class with tears in my eyes and sweat dripping down my nose, I got lost in my thoughts. It was the perfect setting: the lights down low, the music pumping, and my instructor shouting things like “Go, go,” and “Push harder,” I began wondering what my life would be like if I was never diagnosed…. No, if I was never given this disease.

I don’t think I’d be in that 1:00 spinning class because I would be at work teaching. If I never had MS I would have all the mental abilities a 29 year old woman should have and enough energy to keep up with elementary school students. Or, I would be at home with all my little babies or playing tag with my 4 year old. I wouldn’t have to give myself a shot tonight or think about my workouts tomorrow. But I do.

I have spent 3 years dealing with the things I have and don’t have…just like everyone else does. Everyone has stuff, my stuff just has a name. Everyone has aches and pains and obstacles to deal with.

At the end of the day I decided that I can spend time hoping I will always have the strength I do today but I know I won’t. Since MS is a degenerative disease I have decided I will live my life with the strength God grants me each day. Today I’m strong.