Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Lately I'm struggling with the why's in life and I think I know what's to blame. For the better part of 2 months now my daughter has been incessantly singing the same song...no, one line from the same song! Over and over and over again I've been hearing "Why do I do the things I do?.." She's strung together an odd series of notes and sings these words in strange octaves from morning till night. So yeah, it got me thinking, why do I do the things I do? Why do I spend so much time working out, what's the point?

Yes I've dipped my toe into the depression pool lately, both out of frustration and self pity. In my defense it's not my fault. MS and depression go hand in hand. It's kind of like the whole chicken and egg debate, am I depressed because I have MS (scared of my symptoms progressing and shots 3x a week) or is MS making me depressed (like the chemicals in my body being all funky). Really though, why do I go to the gym?

Ok fine (eye roll)... I do know the answer to that ‘why.’ I know I’m a healthier person after I hear my cycle teacher say that with every pedal revolution and sweat bead I am stronger. I know that most of the classes are packed full of others who want to be healthier and stronger too, and I know if I get my behind to the gym it will be encouraging to spend an hour beside people who want the same things I do. It is absolutely impossible to feel alone in a fitness class and it is equally as impossible not to be energized by a teacher who could easily double as a motivational speaker! It’s not just the teacher that helps me to move though, the music, even the unlikely tunes help to get my muscles working.

Similar to my daughter, I love music but can't carry a tune if it jumped in my arms. Music and exercise are awesome together, and in my little world MS has it's own playlist. I’m not crazy, I realize MS is not a person but at times it is helpful to personify this cheating, lying, deceitful disease and tunes are my love songs to it. Not only jams from this generation apply though 80s rock does the trick too. Recently I heard rocker, Bret Michaels make a profound statement in reference to his Diabetes. He said, "When you have a disease you either do something or don't," deep... But ya know what, his words inspired me to write this particular blog today and reminded me that I already know the answer to why. Working out has millions of benefits (next blog I’ll list them all???) Anyway, well said Mr. Michaels!

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