Since the MS walk...

I came, I saw, I conquered. That's only partly true, MANY people did those things in the name of defeating MS, and truly the walk kind of conquered me.

So despite my lack of blogging lately, I do have every intention of keeping up this page and sharing my workout secrets with those that are interested... but truly I haven't blogged since the walk because I've been feeling like a hypocrite and a failure.

The walk kicked my tail, and that was discouraging. I've had a few new symptoms since that day like cramps in my feet, facial twitches and an eye tick that has been CONSTANT for over a month now. I keep reminding myself that everyone gets sensations like these and we can't blame everything on MS (something a Dr once shared with me.) I'm not sure if I really over exerted myself or if these symptoms would appeared anyway.

When it comes down to it, I was supposed to be stronger than having a 2 mile (or so) walk make me feel this way. For all the hours I spend working out each day, and how toned and muscular I am, I was convinced that I would be walking laps around the others that don't know what I do about physical activity. I've been disappointed, both in myself and in this stupid disease. Since each day is different with MS, maybe on a slightly cooler or cloudier or less windy day I could have gone farther...

So after really over analyzing why I fell short of my goal, I identified one of the reasons I had such a hard time that day.

Most of my working out is done on machines that have a stable base and railings. Sure I can power through 30 min on my Gazelle or the elliptical where my hands are glued in place, but a walk brings with it uneven ground and a free moving upper body....I'm not sure why I didn't think of that. I guess I thought that since every morning in my home gym, I do 10 or so balance exercises on my BOSU and while that has gotten my stronger and given me more balance, it hasn't transformed me.

In the last month or so I've been flopping back and forth between rolling over and letting MS win and setting new goals for myself like walking 10 minutes on the tredmill without holding on to the sides, or adding dumbells when I'm on the BOSU... most days I choose the latter. When it comes down to it, exercise is the best pain reliever I can find, and whether or not I fall short of my goals this disease isn't going anywhere